First FIT Trauma-Informed Care Conference Gets Rave Reviews

[Note: The first Foster In Texas (FIT) Trauma-Informed Care Conference was held in Harlingen on August 21^st, and attended by more than 50 foster parents and potential foster parents.] What would be the appropriate way to begin a conference on Trauma-Informed Care in a town like Harlingen, Texas?  With Pan Dulce of course!  As crumbs from the brightly colored pastries were polished off, our families proceeded to the conference rooms at Texas State Technical College―one room designated for English-speaking families and one for Spanish-speaking families―and prepared to settle in to soak up the important information treatment director, Frank Vega, and regional director, Jose Alamillo, were about to present.

LSS area directors Maria Livingston and Frank Lopez welcomed the families, as their foster children were ushered into daycare provided by LSS. Regional director, Victoria Porter met several foster parents who greeted her with, “Oh, I’ve been waiting to meet you! What a pleasure!”  It felt more like a long-awaited family reunion than a conference! 

Why did we feel it was important to present this specialized trauma training directly to our families, and offer it to foster parents from other child placing agencies as well?  Many children in foster care have lived through extremely traumatic experiences. Trauma’s isolating impact makes relationships more difficult. And removing the weight of trauma from a child’s soul isn’t easy. Parents dealing with a child’s trauma without proper tools and understanding can experience “compassion fatigue”– feeling burned out and unable to handle one more child’s sadness.

We feel very strongly about getting the word out to families across Texas that, equipped with the right tools, they can be the biggest and most positive agent of change in the lives of these precious children. A wide range of health, behavioral, and social problems will be lessened for generations to come.

At the end of the day, tears were shed, hugs were exchanged, and little hands got high-fives. The responses and thank-yous from the parents made it clear how important specialized training really is – and how it is a key factor that differentiates LSS from other child placing agencies.

Here’s just a sampling of what the parents had to say:

My husband and I want to take this opportunity to thank you for making our training this past Saturday a wonderful experience … you and your staff made it very friendly, inviting, and so relaxing which was very conducive to learning. Our speaker was excellent and presented the information in a format that we could all relate too.

I can honestly agree with the other participants that this should be a training that all foster parents, should be exposed too in order to give us a better understanding of what to expect and how to approach unforeseen situations. Once again, Thank you and thank your staff for us!!! ―Fidela Hinojosa

To Maria Luisa Livingston and LSSS staff: Rogelio and I would like to thank you for inviting us to the Trauma Conference in Harlingen.  Frank Vega was a wonderful speaker. He opened our eyes … and taught us many things that will help us when we foster/adopt or adopt. The conference was very informative and insightful.  We got to hear a lot of different points of view not only from Mr. Vega, but from the other foster parents in attendance. Being that we are new to Lutheran Social Services of the South, and have never fostered or adopted, we were oblivious to many of the situations that can present themselves. For example, to us, saying “I love you” or hugging is a normal part of our lives, but to a child who has gone through a traumatic experience, it may trigger an unwanted emotion or state of mind. We are truly thankful to have been part of this experience as it has helped us further understand what it means to be a foster parent or adoptive parent.

We’d also like to add that the conference was very organized and we got to see first-hand that LSS supports their foster parents by giving this type of conference and providing child care during the conference. We look forward to continuing our journey with LSSS and are pleased to know that we will always have your support along our foster/adopt journey. We look forward to attending more conferences in the future. ―Rogelio and Melissa Lozano

We were very impressed with the wonderful training you provided us. All you could hear was “Wow!” The presenters were awesome, the information was out of this world. We foster parents get lots of support from our Harlingen office, and the director Maria Luisa and her staff have gone above and beyond in supporting the foster parents here. I have never been with an an agency that has so much support and love for the children in care. Lutheran Social Services in Harlingen always goes the extra mile to support us. We foster parents work hard for the children in care and we would like more training like this to help our children in care. We’re looking forward to more conferences here in Harlingen. We foster parents appreciate the hard work of Maria Luisa and her staff. ―Dario & Betty Garza

I wanted to inform you that I was really pleased with the course we took and the person who shared the course with us was a really nice person. He knew how to explain things well, which made us feel pleased. I also had fun during the breaks which were given to us so we could hang with the other foster parents. This lead to a good day of training and I feel good being a part of Lutheran Social services … Mrs. Livingston has taught us a lot. Thanks, God Bless. ―Maria Josefina Macias

Bulgarian Adventure – Signing Off

It is said that the love of a country goes through the stomach. After many wonderful, unique Bulgarian meals, I would certainly echo that sentiment! However, I would add to that statement that the kindness of its people, the hope for its children, and the beauty of its lands makes the heart grow as well. That has certainly been our experience here.

It has been both my and Konnie’s privilege to work closely with Martin and Svet and to meet with the officials who are obviously dedicated to the future of the children of Bulgaria, especially those needing forever families. I find their mission to be closely aligned with ours at LSS, and am hopeful that once we return home, we will establish a framework to collaborate on behalf of the children, helping them to find loving adoptive homes.

Thanks for following us as we embarked upon this adventure. Your thoughts and prayers were much appreciated.

Ciao!

Sonya

Bulgarian Adventure – Days 9 & 10

DAY 9:

I spent the first part of the day getting to know the area and the hotel. The hotel is a nice one near the sea (lots of sea in Varna!) and is very family friendly. The rooms are large and have areas where families can cook if they want to. The pools are lovely and one can book an all-inclusive vacation here.

The view of the sea from the hotel is wonderful, and it is just a short walk to the waterfront. International adoption families may choose to stay here, since the hotel is only about two kilometers from the orphanage.

Martin, Svet, and I spent much of the afternoon/evening planning for the orphanage trip and discussing the local community of Varna. It was a quiet day, and aside from the walk near the pier, our time was spent on the business of the day. We were asked to visit with the local director of Social Care, to let her know what we may be doing with the orphanages and the international adoption program in Bulgaria. This program is the state social service program and as I understand it will provide some oversight with the Ministry of Justice. We are very excited about the orphanage and talking about working with children as we move forward.

DAY 10

We began the day at the local market, buying diapers, wipes, baby lotion, biscuits (crackers), toothbrushes and toothpaste for the children. The orphanage has 240 beds and relies on donations for such items. We met with the director of the orphanage (also known as the House for Medical and Social Care for Children – Varna) and she was most appreciative of the items we brought for the children. The director’s name is Stefka Dzhankova, MD, and she has been the orphanage director for at least 15 years.

Martin, Sonya & Svet with Dr. Dzhankova

The orphanage is a very bright, child-friendly environment as you can see from the following photos:

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The children smile readily and are happy. Dr. Dzhankova is proud of the facility and what it has to offer with the most up-to-date occupational, speech, and physical therapies. The orphanage also offers day treatment for children with special needs who live in the community. We met a young man with Prader Willi syndrome who comes from the local community each day to receive individualized services. Dr. Dzhankova feels very strongly that this level of support is necessary for both the progress of the children and the support to the family. When a child is able to receive targeted, developmentally necessary services, it is expected that the child will be able to stay at home with his or her family.

I was able to see a tiny child who was very premature and abandoned at birth. It was wonderful to see the medical equipment with the room looking much like a small hospital room! Dr. Dzhankova reports that she employs 10 doctors to work directly with children and often oversees premature children and children with specialized disabilities, as well as typically developing children. I was able to hold a beautiful baby boy who smiled and cooed and appeared to be very happy. I told Konnie I was fearful I would want to take them all home, and I was right about that! However, it did my heart great to see the wonderful care staff gave each of the children. The staff were singing, feeding, rocking, and working with the children, and it appeared to be “business as usual.” Dr. Dzhankova expressed her hopes that LSS, New Beginnings, and her program would be able to work closely together going forward.

With Dimitrichka Kancheva director of the social care agency

We then went to visit Dimitrichka Kancheva, director of the social care agency in Varna. She is the equivalent of Texas’ DFPS program administrator for her region, which includes Varna and the surrounding communities. There are 12 regions across Bulgaria and each one is responsible for the care of children, the elderly, the poor, and the disabled. She was very interested in learning more about LSS and what we do. Ms. Kancheva was impressed with the range of services offered by LSS, and by our diversity in terms of statewide services. She was also impressed by our continuum of care in the child and family services division, including our newest program in Louisiana. She indicated that Bulgaria is working to ensure there are services to meet the needs of the community. Her hope is to provide services to families up front when a need has been established and adoption services on the back end, so that all children have a chance at permanency. I told her that sounded very much like the philosophy of our state and our agency. Ms. Kancheva indicated that she is glad that we have chosen to visit Bulgaria and feels that we can work very closely together going forward. All in all, it was a very busy, but most productive, day!

That’s all for today,
Sonya L. Thompson

Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Kurt Senske, and You

By now we have all heard about the great billionaire giveaway. Warren Buffett, who has already committed to give away 99 percent of his $47 billion fortune, and his friend and fellow billionaire Bill Gates, have begun to call the Forbes 400 richest list to ask each of them to also commit to donate more than 50 percent of their wealth. To date, at least 40 billionaires have signed the pledge.

I applaud this admirable, albeit not always successful, initiative. Warren Buffett, in a recent Financial Times article, shared tidbits of some of the less fruitful conversations. “Sometimes they’re just trying to get you off the phone. A few people had dynastic ideas about wealth because they had inherited their wealth themselves. And then there were others who said they had a plane to catch.”

Before we are too quick to criticize those who rebuffed Mr. Buffett’s request, we might do well to ponder how we would respond if Messrs’ Gates or Buffett asked us to do the same. I can assure you that in a world where more than one billion of the earth’s current inhabitants subsist on less than a dollar a day, God considers all who read this to be of wealth and abundance. Would we act in the same manner as the widow and her two mites or would we be less than polite in our response?

It is useful for each of us to thoughtfully ponder how we view our own wealth and material goods. Society would have us believe that we “own” our wealth; that we are entitled to spend our assets however we see fit, that it is only out of the goodness of our hearts that we even think of sharing with those less fortunate. However, the Bible offers a different ethical dynamic and expectation.

The Old Testament is filled with episodes of God showering bounty on His people, much like He continues to do to the Gates and the Buffetts of the world, as well as to you and me. But God makes it clear that these blessings are intended for the whole community, not for just an individual. It was unimaginable that a single person would hoard his goods and enjoy them in isolation from other members of the community. The Bible is clear in its message that our material blessings are meant to be shared. We are blessed so that we can be a blessing to others.

Each of us is endowed with a multitude of gifts. Along with them comes these rather ominous words from Jesus, “Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more” (Luke 12:48). The bottom line question for each of us is, “How can we best use our wealth as an act of worship to God and actions of service to others?”

We at Lutheran Social Services are blessed to work daily with role models who understand that their good fortune is intended for the whole community. I think especially of our good friends Mildred and Lawrence Lieder who regularly remind my colleague David Kahle and me, “This isn’t our money we are donating to LSS, this is God’s money. Don’t thank us, thank God!”

When Warren Buffett, LSS, your congregation, or neighbor in need calls, it is my prayer that you will be generous in your response. Not because you have to but because you want to – as an act of worship and service to our Lord and Savior.

Growing Room at New Life

New Life Children’s Center is growing!  Thanks to many generous donors, New Life will be able to provide help, healing, and hope to 20 additional girls starting this fall. New Life currently serves 60 girls between the ages of 11 and 17. These young ladies have experienced deep trauma related to their past, which often included physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. New Life is a healing place for girls labeled by the state of Texas as in need of “specialized and intensive” care.

With the addition of the new dormitory, named “The Lieder Family Dormitory II” (after LSS friends Mildred and Lawrence Lieder), New Life can care for some of the most traumatized girls in the state. These 20 individual-sized rooms will allow New Life to treat and care for girls who might otherwise be placed in a psychiatric hospital due to risky behaviors such as cutting and suicide attempts. Once these behaviors are under control, these girls will be able to transition into one of the three other, less restrictive dormitories on campus.

Because New Life’s population will soon expand to accommodate 80 girls, preparations are underway all over the campus. Two new classrooms are under construction so that Trinity Charter School will have space to accommodate the increased number of residents. Lisa Brown, director of Volunteer Services, is collecting necessary items such as toiletries, linens, and gift cards for clothing.

The Lieder Family Dorm II is expected to open in early September with a grand opening planned for early October. As you can see by the following photo album, the dorm is coming along beautifully. With its attractive stone exterior and an interior bathed in natural light, you might forget that it is built to take a beating. The walls are constructed to be sturdy, fire-resistant, and dense to diminish the noise. All of these factors will create a safe and comfortable space for future residents to go to heal.

Have a look at the progress!

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For updates on the new dorm construction, to watch New Life grow, and to become involved in helping, please visit the New Life facebook page.

Car Seat Drive Takes Off in the Valley

Don Morgan surrounded by car seats

Many infants and young children placed in foster homes in the Lower Rio Grande Valley will ride a lot safer now because of the generosity of Continental Airlines employees.

As of September 2009, Texas child passenger safety laws require car seats for children younger than five years of age and less than 36 inches in height. While the law took effect in September, a nine-month grace period has given families time to prepare.

Maria Livingston, Harlingen area director of Family Services with Lutheran Social Services (LSS), recognized right away that this created a specific need for foster families in the area.

“For foster families with young ones who meet this profile, compliance with the new law can be expensive, especially for sibling groups,” said Livingston. “Sometimes we need to place children with a new family right away. Younger kids have more out-of-pocket expenses like diapers, formula, strollers, cribs, and car seats. It adds up fast.”

Livingston approached City Commissioner Melissa Hernandez-Zamora of Brownsville about the problem, and was referred to Don Morgan, Continental Airlines general manager at the Brownsville/South Padre Airport. Largely through the generosity and creative thinking of Morgan and fellow Continental Airlines employees, a car seat drive was quickly coordinated with donated car seats coming from as far away as Minnesota.

“I simply put the word out through internal channels at work and employees responded,” said Morgan. “It feels good knowing you’re helping those in need in your local community, especially children.” Morgan added that while his efforts are supported by management, the car seat drive is not an official corporate sponsorship.

So far, 14 car seats along with five strollers have made their way into the automobiles of RGV foster family cars, and hundreds more are reported to be on the way.

“We are so grateful to the people at Continental for their generosity. It has taken a lot of pressure off our foster families,” continued Livingston.  “It makes it easier to place children knowing I have car seats available for the families caring for the children while they are in foster care.”

Bulgarian Adventure – Days 7 & 8

Day 7

Konnie left to return to the US – to family, friends, and work. The remainder of the team met up with Martin’s family in Sofia, and began the long trip across the country to Varna. On the way, the caravan made a detour to Burdarski Geran, where Martin’s wife Anna was born and raised, and where her parents still live.

Mr. Toshkova

Anna’s father Mr. Pavel Toshkova was once mayor of the small village and her mother was an elementary school teacher. Both are now retired.

Varna is a quaint village 10 kilometers from the Blue Danube, the body of water that separates Bulgaria and Romania. The family lives on a small, but well-designed plot of land. Every inch of the property is used:  garden vegetables planted with flowers, and wine vines covering the walkway to the home. It is with these wine vines that Mr. Toshkova makes what is known to be “the best Rakia in Bulgaria.”

the family garden

The family made preparations for our arrival, and we enjoyed a great family-style meal in the comfortable home. It is clear that this family is full of love, and very welcoming of outsiders such as me.

Dinner with Martin's family

We left Burdarski Geran and moved on toward the sea and Varna. One of the main roads was closed, so what was to be a five-hour trip became an eight-hour trip! However, after all that wonderful food, sleeping was the order of the day!

Black Sea at sunset

We arrived in Varna after dark, and were able, at first light, to see the wonderful Black Sea, which made it well worth the trip! One of the orphanages is about two kilometers from the hotel, and we plan to make a visit on Tuesday. Can’t wait!

Day 8

Black Sea beach

We made a short trip with Svet and his family to the Balchik Castle and botanical gardens. It is a beautiful place, with a lot of rich history. The area known as Cadrilater was a part of Romania. In 1924, the Romanian Queen Maria fell in love with this land and took it as a place to build a summer home. She took much of the existing structure and built the castle from there.

Castle garden sign

The property is separated into Villas, and surrounded by a view of the sea and lots of greenery.  After World War II, Bulgaria recovered the land, and the Prime Minister turned it into a summer home. Today, however, it appears the property is used by the University with oversight of the gardens and tourism.

There is a unique plan for watering the castle gardens, with water flowing down the property as it is set into the hill, down to the sea. There is a “bridge of sighs” where the waterfall begins the downhill watering process.

Bridge of Sighs

You notice an interesting marble chair that has a great view of the sea and the surrounding land, and it is understood that the Queen began each day sitting in the chair watching the sun come up. It is very obvious that this beautiful property was built for the pleasure of the queen and the pleasure of those around her.

Queen Maria's chair

We then finished the evening off at a mussel farm. This farm/restaurant is known as Dalboka, and is set into the hill outside of Kavarna. It is situated in the sea about 40 kilometers from the Romanian border on the last of the Bulgarian coastline, in that direction. This farm, which began in 1993, specializes in the cultivation and production of ecologically clean Black Sea mussels.

Mussel Farm

It was my first time to eat mussels, and I must say it was a most tasty experience! We will get “back to business” tomorrow, and hope to finish the planning process and prepare for our visit to the orphanages.

plate of mussels

steamed mussels

Blessings,

Sonya

Victoria’s Secret: Copperfield Village

Victoria’s best-kept secret, that is – and we think it’s time to get the word out. 

If you’re over 55, have had your fill of home and yard maintenance, and the daily drudgery of cooking and cleaning is getting you down, there’s a retirement village in Victoria, Texas, that’s awaiting your discovery. This somewhat utopian community is Copperfield Village, an example of independent senior living at its finest.

The city of Victoria, dubbed one of “America’s Best Places to Live” by Livability.com, is located beside the Guadalupe River, 30 miles inland from the Gulf of Mexico, and is within a two-hour drive of Corpus Christi, Houston, San Antonio, and Austin.

Copperfield Village is tucked away on 501 E. Larkspur, a short distance from the Victoria Mall and a long way from the worry and complications of home maintenance and property ownership.

 

Geraldine Nix, community manager, keeps this tight ship sailing, and nowhere is that more evident than in the Copperfield dining room and kitchen. Geraldine has parlayed her love of cooking and wealth of family recipes into an incredible daily dining experience for Copperfield residents. You have to sample it to believe it. [Note: I did just that, including TWO amazing desserts: chocolate mud pie and bread pudding.]

  

Meet the Village People

Within the 70 private patio homes dwell active empty nesters and retired adults who enjoy sharing interests and activities. Life is as independent as they want it to be.

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Get around, get around, I get around …

Whatever their choice of ride, CV residents show a flare for getting around the Village and Victoria in style.

 

Let the good times roll!

Call 361-575-3978 or email Geraldine Nix or Leslye Smith to schedule a tour.

Bulgarian Adventure Day 6 – Road Trip

Today we drove to the center of Bulgaria to see a monastery and an ancient castle. On our way out of Sofia, Martin pointed out a large poster at a public bus stop, which was an ad recruiting foster families. The child in the poster is an older child, which reinforces what we were told about the belief that foster care in Bulgaria is intended to give older children the chance to experience family life.  

castale view

 Our first stop was the town of Veliko Tornovo, which is Bulgaria’s former capital. This very old town nestled in the hills reminds us of Sausalito, California, for those of you who have been there! 

View of city & castle

It is situated on a river, known as Yantra, nestled in the mountains where a beautiful castle was built in the second millennium B.C.  We saw the Patriarchal Tower, which housed the King and the members of his kingdom. One of the fascinating sights there is the Balduin Tower where prisoners were kept. The famous legend associated with this tower is that one of the Bulgarian czars captured a Byzantian king who was to be beheaded. He chose instead to take his fate into his own hands and jumped from the tower to his death. It is important to note that Bulgaria, a small country, defeated the Byzantine army and captured their Emperor.

The next stop was the small village of Arbanasi, directly across from the castle. It is an architectural reservation and has some incredible historic homes which are still in use. We had a light lunch and took time to reflect on the great views.  

 

We then went on to the local monastery known as Preobrajensky. It was built in 1360 and although a small place, the attached church is undergoing some major renovations.

church restoration in progress

The two restoration specialists who are working on the renovations full time report that thus far it has taken six years, and will probably take several more. Renovations are necessary both inside the church and out.

the chair of priests

The paintings and murals inside the church are impressive and will be magnificent once they are returned to their glorious wonder.

painting undergoing restoration

another restoration project

People come from all over to place candles for themselves and loved ones, and also place money beside the small paintings of Mary and Jesus to help fund the restoration. Per Martin, monks still reside in the monastary and they still use horse-drawn carriages, and bells to notify residents that it’s dinnertime.

Upon leaving the monastery, we drove the small road back into Sofia. We passed through and over the Balkan Mountains and saw the impressive mountains that make Bulgaria a haven for skiers. We saw valleys and valleys of sunflowers and it was beautiful.

sunflowers in the valley

At one stop we saw an old Bulgarian couple “turning hay” and using a donkey-drawn carriage to carry the hay. It was certainly a vision of what we have heard about the traditional Bulgarian culture. It was a beautiful sight! We then wound our way back to Sofia after a long, long, but most satisfying day!

donkey pulling a carriage

Bulgarian couple turning hay

More later,

Konnie and Sonya

Bulgarian Adventure Day 5 – Devouring the Culture

Today, we had a wonderful cultural adventure―with typical Bulgarian food in a traditional Bulgarian restaurant, a live Bulgarian folk singer, folk dancers in “costume,” and we even witnessed “walking on fire.”  Martin and Svet took us outside the city of Sofia to a restaurant that is decorated in Bulgarian folk style and serves traditionally prepared Bulgarian dishes. We began the meal with Shoppska salad  and  Snejanka “snow white” salad.  The Shoppska salad has diced cucumbers, tomatoes, red bell peppers, and is topped with grated feta cheese. The snow white salad is Bulgarian yogurt with diced pickles and dill.  For the main course we had pork cooked in a variety of ways, grilled vegetables, and our customary french fries topped with feta cheese.   Then we topped it all off by devouring vanilla ice cream filled with chopped dates for dessert!

Folksinger Christina Boteva

    During dinner we were treated to a live performance by several folk singers who meandered through the restaurant entertaining the diners. Among the singers was Christina Boteva, who is a professional singer in Bulgaria and had a wonderful vocal range. We also observed a group of traditionally dressed dancers performing Bulgarian folk dances in the empty spaces between tables. Part of their repertoire includes donning ancient masks, not unlike some of our Native American masks, and involving diners in their dance. These men, known as “Kukeri,” come from a special region of Bulgaria.

The highlight of the evening was watching two locals walking on hot coals! Once the coals were really hot and glowing, the man raked them all into a circle and began walking over them. He was then joined on the hot coals by a young woman, who literally “flew” over the hot coals in a long white gown. It was explained to us that this is an ancient ritual which originated as an attempt by the populous to drive out the demons of winter and invite the spirits of spring. The barefooted dancers are known as “Nestinari.”

It was a fabulous day, and certainly enhanced our knowledge and understanding of the Bulgarian culture!  

All for today!

Konnie and Sonya